I’ve been up for almost three hours and my brain has not stopped whirring in all that time. It is exhausting. From the minute I woke up, this cerebral hyperactivity has careered headlong through such topics as what we are having for dinner, how I can fit the dog’s walk in this morning with all the other commitments I have, how to best balance the food budget owing to the predictable overspend during Christmas, how I will ever lose that last half a stone from my latest pregnancy when I am hungry all the time and fruit just doesn’t cut it, how will the baby manage without her afternoon sleep – something which will have to be dropped as she didn’t go down until 9 pm last night owing to a later-than-usual 3 pm slumber, whether or not I suffer from SAD because I have noticed that my mood has been a little less than bright these last few days and the gloomy weather is beginning to drag me down somewhat, how fast life goes as you grow older and that I feel as if the last 5 years have just hurtled me into middle age at a frightening rate, whether we will ever get round to finding the time and energy to sort the garden out, sell a load of stuff on eBay that is currently piled up in our bedroom, clean the skirting boards or wash the car… I won’t bore you with the rest.

I think this is why I drank, to slow it all down and give my head a rest.

4 thoughts on “Thinking.

  1. JoseyC says:

    Hi Lucy
    I have declared myself a card carrying Soberista as of Boxing Day and going fine at present. I also have felt as if my head was full of competing thoughts and demands and its why I drank – I never drank socially – only on my own to let go of the stresses of life. I started meditating and it made a huge difference – and I’ve been reading around why. Apparently meditation actually helps you to develop the size and functioning of the prefrontal cortex (I think I am recalling this correctly!) which is the seat fo satisfaction. Alcohol cravings and gambling, eating etc are driven by another part of the brain which focuses on the PROMISE of good things to come and doesn’t fuss itslef on whether it delivers (we Sobersitas know it doesn’t. This is coming from a great book I would recommend called Maximum Willpower by Kelly McConigal who is a lecturer at Stanford University – fab book (I may do a little review for another part of the site). Anyway – can I recommend meditation – and also recommend not trying to start on your own as its frustrating!! Find a group and go along – it has been life changing for me – I did happily put it in place before i quit – I wasn’t drawn to AA but did acknowledge the spiritual component which I didn’t have in my life – many AA folk use meditation as part of their recovery.
    Good luck x –

    • Hi Thanks so much for this comment. It all makes a lot of sense. Meditation is something that I have thought of a lot but always shied away from because I think I am not suited to sitting still for long periods of time!! Precisely why I should be going along…there is a Buddhist centre down the road from me so am going to look into it. Thanks ever so much, I will keep you informed via this blog…
      Lucy x

  2. Hi Lucy, Tried to reply to this but don’t think it worked, (if it did apologies for doing it again!)

    Just wanted to say take care of yourself and don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re achieving so much. Giving up the booze doesn’t make us or the world perfect does it? Its OK to feel rubbish sometimes and it will pass.

    Sure the meditation’s a good idea, be interested to hear how that goes.
    I’m looking into practising mindfulness which has some elements in common after seeing the blog about it on Mindbodygreen so will let you know how that goes too.

    You’re a star, keep on keeping on!

    Sue x

    • Thanks Sue, I had a rubbish night’s sleep and when I’m tired I tend to go into anxiety overdrive. The mindfulness thing is something that I have been trying to practice too – I am getting better at living in the moment because of that I think.
      Found a meditation class that is just down the road from me and it starts at the beginning of Feb, so will go along and blog about it! See if it helps slow my overactive brain down a little…
      Thanks a lot, hope you are feeling ok – thanks for all your support.
      Lucy x

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