Yesterday my drink was spiked. OK, so it’s not as dramatic as it sounds; I visited a cafe in the afternoon with the other half and baby, and owing to the tortuous migraines I have been suffering over the last few weeks (something I self-diagnosed as too many strong coffees) which led to me subsequently waving goodbye forever to caffeinated coffee a few days ago, I ordered a decaf.
I was served a caffeinated latte.
I only knew this to be the case when a couple of hours after drinking the evil stuff, my head developed a familiar throbbing which I have now come to recognise as being a particularly evil side effect of consuming coffee. My eyes narrowed in a desperate bid to block out the suddenly agonising sunlight, my stomach churned and I prepared myself for the miserable few hours ahead before the agony passed.
In the same way that I’m aware of this reaction I have to drinking coffee, I also regard myself as being allergic to alcohol. I have always had, since I began my drinking career all those years ago, an inability to know when I have had ‘enough’ and a desire, once the boozing has begun, to carry on imbibing until I pass out. This was not something that developed over time in any kind of progressive fashion, this was the way I drank right from the off when I was thirteen years old.
I have been a little quicker on the uptake with regards to coffee in terms of recognising the fact that I am not suited to that particular beverage (it’s actually a very positive allergy to have, as I spend way too much money in cafes and eat more cakes than I should as a guaranteed ‘something on the side’ to accompany my lattes – without coffee, my waistline and outgoings should both shrink quite nicely), it taking a matter of months from the first migraine to my recent self-imposed embargo on caffeinated coffee. With booze it took a little while longer – around twenty two years.
There are two set-in-stone facts with regards to me, and drinking coffee and alcohol; the first will give me blinding headaches and the second will make me very ill, act like an idiot and piss a lot of people off, including myself. It may be simplifying things a bit but considering myself to be allergic serves to remind me that when it comes to these two beverages, I am far better off steering well clear of the pair of them.
Now where’s the chamomile tea?